Blog Closed.

Blog Closed.

confusing

It’s all so confusing. He loves me so much and I love him so much and yet we can’t be together cause of some stupid prediction and other blah stuffs. SIGH.

Why is it so difficult?

And then the other one is just… Sigh I feel like I owe him or something.

=.=

Interview on Friday!

I’ve lost a hell lot of blood this month. Now I’m crippled and surviving with one hand. sigh.

the pain is killing me.

i’m pretty confused about everything now but i don’t feel like blogging about them.

we’ll see how it goes. but i’m thankful for the effort put in by them

I’m damn tired.. Went to watch what happened in vegas yesterday with the 3 of them at Cathay. It’s actually a pretty good movie. The whole cinema was laughing the whole time yeah..

Then went to seoti’s house to play game and drink beer.. It’s damn funny cause at like 5am in the morning, we were all stoned and playing intellectual word games…

Reached home abt 630 and just woke up…

I’m actually pretty tired messaging him and all.. Hahah… I guess the fun wears on and off… I don’t know.. We won’t ever be in relationship but I guess we like each other’s company…

I’m pretty self-entertained nowadays.. haha good eh..

ok time to bath and go out!

It’s so weird.

I’m supposed to be happy now but I’m feeling a little emo.. I’m not sure why…

Maybe it’s because of Alan, maybe it’s because of somebody else. Or maybe it’s just about the state of my life now…

I’ve no idea.

I miss Alan. Wanted to look for him. But devil asked me not to play with fire. I’ll end up with hurt, pain and tears again. Will I?

I don’t know if what I did was right. But now I’m all about indulgence…

Well the good news now is that my skin is damn good now. haha I’m like glowing again. But it’s always like this after the laser increases my skin peeling off rate. Then after that it gets dull again..

It’s not good to over analyse people. When you do, you will end up falling for their character or end up hating them.

Either way, it’s not good to be obsessed. That’s the problem with me, I like to find out everything I can about a person.

Some days I feel like he’s telling me the truth, but other day I feel like he’s just playing me…

I won’t make anybody the centre of my life again, besides Alan, and I’m doing pretty well so far =)

The break of a new dawn…

The break of a new dawn…

Indulgence is my motto in life right? And indulge I did…

I’m glad I did what I did because it gave me a better perspective of life and what I want…

But then again, I’ll prob regret it when I wake up tomorrow so what the hell…

But I have three weeks to think about it…

Hmmm

love

I love to be with Alan because only with him, I have no inhibitions. I can be myself. I don’t have to worry about whether I look ugly, whether I have make up, whether I’m fat, whether I’m eating the right way, sitting the right way, I can say anything I want and be who I want to be…

He makes me feel free…

I feel the need to be faithful to him… But then again, it’s not very agonizing a test leh? Why huh?

breathe

I’m trying to recall what happened hahah.. I’m still a bit stoned..

Well I sent some rubbish sms to adrian yesterday altho I kinda know what I was sending. Haha I was playing with him..

_____________________ no link to adrian…

Went to pick up alcohol then drove us to ECP.. We just sat on the beach and chilled all the way till 4am?

It’s nice.. Soothing… Couldn’t remember the pain and problems yesterday even when I tried to.. My mind was just a blank.. And I was walking zig-zag at first LOL.. he had to support me.. I wasn’t drunk lah.. but I just get dizzy when I drink that’s all..

is my karma getting bad again? it’s kinda weird.. knowing his soon-to-be ex gf is at home while he’s out with me.. altho i didn’t do anything! it’s just weird though.. my driving was horrible yesterday. I kept going different lanes cause my hands were really tired and i just don’t feel like driving.. plus god knows what he was doing..

it’s just nice not to think you know.. not to feel sad.. not to be anything.. just enjoy the waves and the breeze.. and the fricking crabs running around us…

Just reached home.. boo..

Drank two bottles of vodka..

And God knows what I did just now..

Abit stoned hahah.. just blog later when i’m more awake..