Gosh i really hate stupid people.. you don’t have to be smart but don’t be stupid.. there’s this girl in my project group.. she’s frickin blur and clueless kind.. like if you tell her something, you have to repeat like dozen of times before she gets it.. and her typing is so frickin slow you have to keep repeating what you say.. but that’s still alright cause some people are like that..

BUT.. there’s thisguy in the group.. who gets defensive over every suggested point by other people.. and he’ll act like he knows everything.. so everytime he says something which is so utterly commonsensical or simple.. the girl will go like “wahhh (insert name).. you are so smart.. you are such a genius..” etc..

gosh i wanna puke.. damn disgusted with the two of them.. sigh… am i grouchy? =((

I’m exhausted. Completely stressed out and melting down. The endless planning and work and commitments is driving me nuts.

I finished my stuffs at like 930 just now. Ate a quick dinner, went with Alan to another friend’s house to repair the router until like 12. Reach back home about one plus. Network and laptop giving me problems. Group project giving me problems. Family have problems.

SO many things to settle, so little time. Working so much day in day out is just.. I hope it’s rewarding enough..

pressure valve

I know it’s wrong to dislike your parents because they gave you so much more than you are entitled to.

But, my parents are really hopeless as all parents are. I mean parents are just teenagers, young adults, adults that grow into the role of a parent. Nothing special makes them perfect for the role. The things they do are not perfect, the methods they used are not perfect. They learn along the way just like us. Hence, I don’t like it when people glorify them into some roles which they are not..

I know a lot of people cannot understand why I want to move away from home. Believe me, I do like my home but most times it’s pretty unbearable. Imagine being in a hostile environment day in day out, I think you would desire a more relaxing place to live in. It’s not that my parents are terror but I guess blame it on me. I’m a very stubborn person. I don’t like to be told what to do and I don’t like to follow social norms.

Conflicts ensue..

My point is, it’s my life, I deal with the consequences so let me live it please. You wanna tell me what to do, handle my consequences then.. Why should I let you dictate my life while I handle the consequences? Doesn’t make sense does it?

I’m just tired of lying, tired of arguing, tired of feeling helpless and pissed over them.. I need a relaxing place where I can cope with my studies and work you know? The pressure gets to me sometimes and it just makes me all stressed out and pissed.

I need a peaceful life..

it’s interesting because there’s only two people I would talk to on MSN or rather I don’t mind talking to on msn.. Not that I mind talking to people but you know I’m busy typing stuffs for work or project and I can’t type so much messages on msn.. but these two, i’ll devote my time too.. beats the hell out of me..

Human mistakes

Humans are about as fallable as they can get.

But,

I don’t like it when people deliberately try to be mean to people.

Worse,

they try to be mean to people who are nice to them.

I just don’t get the whole thing.

Not perfect here, but I don’t usually try to harm people or be mean.

I mean everybody is just trying to live their lives so why make it even harder?

Sigh I don’t get it.

I especially dislike it when people are hypocritical. Nice to me in front of me, but backstab or gossip about me behind my back. Really disappoints me..

if you get over the small stuffs in life, you can enjoy much more..

Humans are such confused creatures really. Sometimes you think ya not to be blamed for something. Sometimes you think you are. Then after that bout gets over, you start to justify why you shouldn’t be blamed for it. that much anyway.

You say things you don’t mean. You say things to say something even more. But never quite the exact truth.

Twisters all around..

One of my main ‘principles’ in life is if what you are doing doesn’t hurt anybody, it’s none of my business. And I hate it when people don’t abide by this rule. Not that they must.

I hate it when people ruin lives just because they can or because something irks their principles. It’s damn pissing because of how inconsiderate and thoughtless they are. selfish people really..

my mum (parents) really pissed me off. before we moved into the house she was saying how she got a light for me so I can do whatever things in the room while my brother is sleeping. Then now she is saying that I can’t do anything in the room at night because my brother needs to sleep. fine so i got my friend to come by and configure the wireless for awhile so i can use it outside. then she start complaining that my friend is there doing the config and my brother can’t sleep bla bla bla.. really fucking irritating.. i’m trying my best here even though i can don’t give a damn and my brother used to sleep outside on the sofa before i asked him to take the bed while i sleep on the floor and now i’m being kicked out of my room??

and who the fuck was it who sold our big house with individual bedrooms for everybody for this bloody tiny unit that we have to share our rooms with? fucking pissed me off..

then my dad keeps getting on my case as well.. he said that my credit bill was too high so i cut it down by more than half.. he didnt say anything but goes on to say how i’m using my credit card to pay for alan when i barely even used it. then he said how i keep using the car and pumping petrol and i stopped using the car already then he went back to saying that i’m paying things for alan.. fuck all of them really.. so what if they are my parents..

seriously i hate it when people say stuffs like oh they are your parents so you must respect them and love them yada yada..  i’ve said it before and i say it again.. it is NOT a must for parents to love their kids.. i know my parents love me and i love them but that does not make them a saint that i have to worship and listen to for everything.. i’m not a brainless puppet..

we are going to move out the first thing we can cause he can’t stand his mum either.. too weird and traditional and whatever not..

Sigh. You know it really gets you down when you are unwanted everywhere. Okay maybe not everywhere. But you can’t be at home because the rules are leather-thick in a book and you are bound to be scolded for every single thing you did. And right now, them not breathing down your neck every second is a blessing. But then you can’t stay at your boyfriend’s house because their parents started to make noise already.

Sigh. The two of us just wanna do our thing and be happy and these people just wanna get you down. It’s just too bad we don’t have enough money to rent a room now and stuffs. Sigh. so much problems. I had thought that I could finally enjoy things now that my parents are not scolding me every few seconds and I can concentrate on school and work.. and now this..

As much as I love my parents, I just can’t stand them totally. Maybe it’s menopause, maybe it’s stress or delusions, but their behavior has been bothering on atrocious for these past few months. That’s the reason why I’ve drifted away from them, been staying away from home and not telling them anything anymore.

They are the kind of parents who live their unfulfilled dreams through their children. Pushing their children all the way and never stop to reassure the child that they are okay beings.

My sister and brother didn’t quite live up to their expectations hence everything is piled on me. Tons and tons of impractical, ridiculous expectations..

i’m really really tired. too tired to argue or bother with them anymore.. just let them be..

I nearly slept today away cept for the tuition work in the morning. Yesterday was such a tiring day that I fell sick straight after. I had lessons from 830am all the way to 230am without any break.. Then I had to go all the way to Tanah Merah for tuition. The hours spent on travelling on MRT and bus was killing me frankly.

When I got home, I was running a fever. So slept all the way. Sigh.. School’s tough.. Too many modules and work..